


Revelations After

by goingtothetardis



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Prompt Fic, References to past drinking, References to past smoking/cigarettes, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 16:34:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9500267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goingtothetardis/pseuds/goingtothetardis
Summary: The Doctor discovers something curious while cleaning a room.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A few weeks ago I got this interesting prompt from an Anonymous friend on tumblr: "I hate smoking, I don't like the smell and I think it's unhealthy, but I think it's quite... interesting in fics? So Tentoo x Rose cigarettes? "
> 
> Smoking is not my thing, but for some reason the prompt really intrigued me and I rolled with it. I really hope the prompter sees this! 
> 
> Have no fear, there is no smoking in this story -- just references to activities in the past. 
> 
> Thanks to Caedmon for the quick read through and giving me some feedback on the smoking bits.

The Doctor huffs in frustration and places his hands on his hips as he contemplates the clutter inside the spare room, which is more like closet. Well, an oversized closet packed almost floor to ceiling with alien tech he’ll eventually need for their TARDIS.

There’s really no more room for anything else until he and Rose can _finally_ pack up their belongings and start their new adventure together in Scotland. Despite his frustration with their current lack of space, however, the Doctor is content to wait for one very important reason.

A few weeks after their arrival in this universe well over eight months ago, Rose had told him she’d completed not only her Bachelor studies during their time apart, but had made significant progress in a Master’s program in applied physics with a specialization in temporal engineering, a very experimental degree program he knew for a fact was not available on Earth in their original universe. She’d only paused her studies once the dimension cannon began working. Unsure of what to do next, but hesitant to continue work with Torchwood, Rose had listened to the Doctor’s encouragement to finish her studies before they made concrete plans for the future.

Of course, with time and the gradual reestablishment of their relationship, they’d made plans to move to Edinburgh, buy an house of sufficient size, and start work on growing the TARDIS there. Until then, the Doctor has been working for Pete in the Torchwood archives, helping to identify and properly handle the enormous quantity of alien materials and tech the organization manages to bring in. In exchange, Pete has allowed the Doctor to utilize whatever resources he finds for growing the TARDIS.

Right now, the TARDIS coral is in stasis with the help of a delicate balance of chemicals until the Doctor can construct a proper growing tank. He eyes the piece of coral sitting in a temporary tank and frowns. It’s sitting on a dusty, cardboard box in the corner of the room. Worried about it’s precarious position, the Doctor moves the coral to the kitchen table and returns to the closet-room to begin the arduous process of organizing the items he’s collected so far.

He grabs the cardboard box and almost throws out his back when it’s far heavier than expected. There’s no writing on the box to indicate what’s inside, so despite the probability of it belonging to Rose, he decides to open it.

It’s filled with books. _Old_ books, collectors items. Written by… _Charlie_ Dickens. The Doctor chuckles at yet another difference between this universe and the other. Intrigued by the surface contents of the box, the Doctor settles cross-legged on the floor and removes book after book. This universe’s Charlie Dickens had produced works identical or almost identical to the works of his parallel self, and for a while, the Doctor immerses himself in the books he removes one by one from the box. Still focused on _The Tale of David Copper_ , the Doctor reaches inside the box for another book and instead pulls out a crumpled, half-full pack of cigarettes.

With a frown, he peers at the cigarettes. He’d assumed the box (and books) belonged to Rose, given their previous adventures with Charles Dickens, but Rose doesn’t smoke.

_Or does she?_

It doesn’t matter, not really, but he’s positive he’d know if Rose smoked. He still has his highly sensitive tongue, and with as frequently as he tastes all the delightful bits of Rose, he knows he’d be able to tell if it’s an activity she partakes in with some regularity. And, given that he’s found two half-full packs, it’s a consistent activity for whomever they belong to.

Rose has never smoked with him, not since she’d joined him on the TARDIS. He thinks she might have engaged in the activity before meeting his last self, but to the best of his knowledge, she’s never smoked. In fact, she’d never enjoyed heavily smoky places, wherever they’d been in the universe, preferring the fresh air of open spaces, so despite the Doctor’s ability to filter the toxic air with his advanced respiratory system – well, his fully Time Lord self, that is – he’d tried to avoid such places in their travels.

Deciding to talk to Rose about the packs of cigarettes after she arrives home from the library, the Doctor repacks the books in the books and leaves the cigarettes on top.

\----------

It’s during dinner when the Doctor brings up the mysterious cigarettes.

“I was organizing the spare room today. Well, I say organizing, but it was really more just taking inventory of what I have for the TARDIS coral and moving things around. It’s still a disaster.” He makes a face, lamenting the fact that he no longer lives in a bigger-on-the-inside time ship. “But I found a box in the corner and wasn’t sure who it belonged to. I found some books.” He pauses. “And a few cigarette packs.”

With a loud sigh, Rose grimaces. “Oh blimey, I forgot about those.”

“They’re yours?” the Doctor asks, surprised.

Rose chews on her lower lip for a few moments and looks at the Doctor, deep in thought. “An’ the books, yeah. ‘M not proud of it, Doctor, but I’ll tell you about it. If you want.”

“You don’t have to, Rose, but I’d like to hear about it,” he requests gently.

Placing her fork on her plate, Rose takes a short sip of her wine, before leaning back and closing her eyes. “Well, ‘s not that exciting, really. When I first got trapped here, I went through a really dark time.” When she opens her eyes and returns her gaze to his, his heart clenches at the pain he finds there. “A _really_ dark time. I jus’... I shut down. Didn’t eat, didn’t get out of bed, didn’t shower. It only got worse when the days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and you _still_ didn’t come.”

“Oh, Rose,” he takes her hand and brushes his thumb comfortingly over her thumb, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t find a way.”

Rose gives him a half-hearted smile. “‘S okay, Doctor. I know why you couldn’t. Anyways, things got a little better when Mum said she was pregnant. Started eating again, went shopping for baby things with Mum just to make her think I was better, went on long walks along the Thames. Found an old bookstore where I got all the books. Read them all about the same time I also discovered Pete’s alcohol cabinet and started smoking again. The only other time I’d ever smoked before was when I was with Jimmy, especially after… you know. Hated my life an’ felt like shit, so of course smoking was the best answer. It stilled me, calmed me. And after I got stuck here… It jus’ happened. Didn’t really plan it.”

The Doctor squeezes her hand in acknowledgement, anticipating more to the story.

“Course Mum found out about the drinking and put a stop to that. She said I had to either work for Pete at Torchwood or finish my A-levels and go to uni. Think I’ve told you that bit before, though, yeah?”

He nods.

“So I worked for Pete until you found a way to… say goodbye.” She takes a deep breath, long and ragged, before exhaling. “An’ then I decided that if you couldn’t find a way to me, I’d find a way to you. So I finished my A-levels, got accepted to uni, and smoked and studied my way through undergrad. Wasn’t until we started working on the dimension cannon that I quit for good. Turns out you gotta be fit to jump through the void to other universes, and smoking, well– I only ever did it cos it was a distraction, helped mask some of the pain. Dunno, sounds daft, now that I think about it.”

The Doctor stares at Rose. He’d heard one version of this before, but the pain and loss that lingers so clearly makes him wonder if he’s enough for her here in this life. “Rose…”

She seems to understand what he wants to say and shakes her head. “No, Doctor, it’s okay, now. _We’re_ okay. Better than. I promise.” Her hazel eyes stare intently into his as she leans across the table toward him. “It made me stronger, that time without you. I’d never wish it on anyone, especially us,” she laughs darkly, “but I’m more now than I was back then.”

The Doctor leans across the table and kisses Rose softly on the lips. “Rose Tyler, you’ve always been _everything_. Never less than.”

Her answering smile makes him sure she believes him.

Sitting back, he decides to reveal something of his own from their time apart. “I destroyed the rose garden,” he whispers. “Completely. Tore out all the bushes, made a mess of my hands and my suit.”

Rose’s jaw drops open, and she scrunches her forehead. “Our garden? On the TARDIS?”

He sighs. “Yeah.”

“When?”

His eyes flick to hers. “After Donna. The first time.” They both understood what he doesn’t say – about words left unsaid and his reckless behavior after she’d been lost to the parallel world.

“I couldn’t bear the memories of us in that room. Of course, the moment the last rose was destroyed, I regretted it immediately. Because it was _our_ room. And I hated myself, Rose. Hated myself for letting you go, for not doing enough, for saying everything but the words that should have been said.” Running a hand through his hair, he averts his gaze, ashamed of his actions even now.

He hears Rose push her chair back and sighs in relief, automatically wrapping his arms around her, as she straddles his lap and cups his face, brushing her thumbs against his sideburns. “We’re together, now, yeah? All that, the good and the bad, it makes us who we are now, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. Now’s not the time for regrets.”

In answer, he leans his forehead to hers, and they linger quietly in the peaceful moment. It’s surprising, now, how at unexpected times the most important confessions between them are revealed. They’re seemingly inconsequential but still something of a relief when those grievances and past hurts are in the open.

“So,” he says, pulling back from Rose and breaking the moment between them. “What would you say to some banana cream cheesecake for dessert? I walked by the bakery on my way home from Torchwood this morning, and really, Rose. It was the most responsible thing to do, buying that cheesecake.”

“Mmm, could do. Or,” she rolls her hips suggestively over his lap, “I could think of a few other things we could do first.” She laughs when he pretends to contemplate the options in front of him.

“You always have the best ideas, Rose. Let’s just hope you don’t need a post-shag smoke after I get done with you.”

She smirks before rewarding him with a long, lingering kiss. “Oh, Doctor. There’s a very specific reason I never need a smoke with you and always needed one with Jimmy.”

“Oh?” Despite his dislike of thinking about Rose’s past relationships, he’s intrigued.

“ _You_ always leave me _very_ satisfied.”

“ _Oooh_.” He preens, letting a cocky smile spread across his face. “Really?”

“ _Really_ , Doctor. Now shut up and take me to bed.”


End file.
